Brett Rutledge Editorial July 2010

It’s election time in Australia as the nation desperately tries to decide which particular group of idiots it would like as its Government for the next three years. Although supposedly a Westminster system of Government increasingly, when it comes to electioneering, we adopt a Presidential style of campaigning focusing almost exclusively on the leaders of the respective parties. By parties, of course, I mean the two main political parties because Presidential campaigns are far too complicated if we start including the Greens or anyone else who might distract us from Julia versus Tony.

So everything is embodied in the fractured psyches of two people and their ability to communicate their vision for the country… Naturally it is at this point that I start having conniptions and brings us to the topic for this months’ Editorial – slogans. That is slogans not ‘bogans’ – which is a pity because if it was ‘bogans’ I suspect both Julia and Tony would be a lot more comfortable.

So then lets examine the efforts of both leaders to encapsulate and communicate their vision for the nation using as few words as possible.

Standing Up and Moving Forward

That’s right… 4 words. In fact, 2 words each. Tony Abbott wants Australia to stand up and Julia Gillard wants Australia to move forward. As always it’s not the number of words that are the problem. After all there have been some very effective slogans using very few words. Nike’s “Just Do It” is a fine example of a short, pithy slogan that seems to embody so much more than the sum of its parts. In those three words there is an implied boldness, a sense of urgency and a determination to get the job done. More importantly the reason it is a great slogan is because it is about making a choice. I think the best slogans are about making choices. Nike says when faced with a decision “Just Do It”. Decisions are good slogans because they emphasize how things should be done. Slogans that are outcomes based ignore how things should be done and place undue emphasis on the responsibility of the lowest members of the food chain to effect those outcomes.

As Deming says “Eliminate slogans, exhortations, and targets for the work force. They are directed at the wrong people. They arise from management’s supposition that the production workers could, by putting their backs into the job, accomplish zero defects, improve quality, improve productivity, and all else that is desirable.” “The management needs to learn that the main responsibility is theirs from now on to improve the system…”

So what of the efforts of Tony and Julia? Oh dear.

Let’s tackle Tony and ‘Stand up’ first. It embodies all that is bad about slogans and if you happen to be sitting down immediately makes you ask why Tony wants you to stand up. If you are already standing up you find yourself asking what for and then things get really confusing. Tony is also most famous for being an athletic type and wearing a pair of Speedo’s and any bloke will tell you ’standing up’ in a pair of Speedo’s is precisely the reason most of us wear boardies. Could it be improved from the meaningless waffle it is now? Yes, by making it a choice such as ‘Make a Stand’. He would then simply offer all the examples of how he would ‘make a stand’ on various issues were he to be Prime Minister.

You’re right… he’s screwed.

On to Julia and ‘Moving Forward’ which if anything is worse than Tony and ‘Stand up’. First, of course, there is the inevitable comparison with that hated piece of corporate gobbledygook ‘Going forward’. If you are one of the people who tends to use this then you need to stop -you are hurtling headlong into self-parody. At least Tony et al with ‘Stand up’ required some sort of action (even if it was pointless). Julia’s slogan is so meaningless as to require nothing at all. You are already moving forward. We cleverly constructed time in such a way that it did that automatically – hence the wishful thinking about turning back time. When quizzed about the emptiness of her slogan Julia’s response was to claim that she stood behind it because she was “passionate about moving forward”. If that is the sort of thing she is passionate about then the feminist cause can rest easy in that there is absolutely zero danger of Julia being objectified as a sex object. Can ‘Moving Forward’ be improved? Off the top of my head… no.

You don’t even get as far as asking why or what for because you are too busy contemplating how. Don’t you need to stand up to move forward or are we just going to bum shuffle or roly-poly? Now that might be a plan! Julia has had considerable success rolling Prime Ministers in the past.

How to lose $50,000 without even trying

As many of you are aware we have a retail operation called Tiny Polkadots which specializes in gifts for the under fives and their mums. It’s going great guns at the moment and after almost a year in business we have just had our best week ever.

Part of the process is to constantly review your product mix and make sure you are not only stocking what people want but also working with suppliers who understand the importance of your particular sales channel and are willing to support it. That review process is about to cost one of our suppliers $50,000.

The reason being that while this supplier has a beautiful and very popular product they also have an online store that sells direct to the public. We don’t have a problem with that per se. But this particular supplier also likes to have online sales in the middle of a season offering 45% off recommended retail. As a sales channel you get a little peeved when you find yourself competing with your own supplier. It says you are not valued.

That 45% off recommended retail is not only 90% of the retailers margin but also represents an increase of potentially 100% of the wholesalers’ margin. We hope for their sake that it nets them $50,000 because that is how much we used to spend with them.

Sometimes what make look like a piece of marketing genius is actually costing you in a big way elsewhere. Think about the messages you might be sending. We are not the only ones pulling our business.

Seriously…get in touch

If you have a better slogan for a political party currently engaged in the election process or if you have an example of something in the corporate arena that is just as bad then I would love to hear it. Suggestions as to what kinds of things you would like to see covered in The Editorial going forward are also welcome. See you for next month!