Editorial August 2009 | Brett Rutledge

Welcome back to “The Editorial”. I continue to be astounded by the unbelievable stupidity of corporate communication. It is almost as if people do this stuff just so I have something to write about! This month I want to temper my strident criticism, however, with some helpful advice to budding CEO’s everywhere.

But before we get to that let’s remind ourselves of why that advice is required. Once again dear readers the time has come to expose the seedy underbelly of corporate communication. To “The Editorial” (to be said in a booming Batman narrative type voice)!

As you all know I travel a lot and when all the park benches are taken I quite often stay in hotels. Generally I stay in the best hotels I can – 4 or 5 star, king size bed, spa facilities, big screen TV, in-room movies and complimentary mini soaps. I stay in hotels with names like Hyatt, Sheraton, Westin, Sofitel and The Ritz in cities like Sydney, Auckland, Hong Kong, New York and London and all of these hotels have one thing in common – they think I am a criminal and they think you are one as well.

How do I know that? Because the first thing they ask for as I check in (before I use any of their services or receive a complimentary mini-soap) is my credit card. They are so convinced that I am planning to abscond without paying that they want me to pay before I stay. They think we are all criminals!

If you ask why they need a “major credit card” as you are checking in rather than as you are checking out they will mumble something about hotel policy. If you ask what the reasoning behind the policy is they will become embarrassed, shuffle their feet and invoke the Nuremburg defence (I’m just following orders) because the answer is our 5 star hotel values you as a customer but we don’t trust you as a human being!

The problem is, of course, when people are treated like criminals they tend to behave like one. Undervalued and unappreciated hotel guests naturally believe that anything not nailed down must be theirs to keep and the hotels attitude becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is why I keep receiving letters from hotel lawyers saying “Dear Mr. Rutledge, please return the mini bar and its contents forthwith…

Ahhhh… the joys of credit applications! My wife is currently in the process of opening her new store (Tiny Polkadots – Perfect Gifts for Mother & Child, 293 Bay Street Port Melbourne, all major credit cards accepted) and is going through the process of filling out credit applications with a number of suppliers. It is only when you have to fill out such forms that you realize how incredibly stupid most of them are.

First there is the ridiculous situation of having to fill out a credit application regardless of whether or not you actually want credit. Apparently cash is only good if accompanied by a piece of paper seeking to avoid paying cash (I know what you are thinking but it gets worse). This situation is further exacerbated by the fact that because it is a new store most suppliers tell you they require cash up front anyway and in the same breath then ask you to fill out the credit application. Why??

Then comes the credit application itself. The demands are complete nonsense. What possible reason can there be for requiring a driver’s license number, the witnessing of signatures or the details of your shop’s lessor? A sequence of numbers is not proof of identity. Getting a complete stranger to verify the identity of another stranger proves nothing either. And as for wanting the details of the bloke who owns the building you are in – what the?

Why do people come up with all this nonsense when all you want to do is buy their product and give them money? I know there is an innate need for some people to make things more complicated but the combination of complexity with irrelevance is surely a new form of psychosis. It smacks of people playing at being corporate and trying to make themselves look more sophisticated than they really are and looking like a complete bunch of wombles instead.

Speaking of which – some helpful advice

Cate Blanchett is an academy award-winning actress. Why? Because she doesn’t look like she is acting. She looks completely natural in any role she undertakes and we accept her in that role even though we know she is an actress. To convincingly portray yourself as something you are not takes real talent and Cate Blanchett after years of dedication to her craft has it in spades. None of the CEO’s I have ever met are Cate Blanchett and none of them have dedicated themselves to the discipline of acting like she has and yet they all seem to think that they have similar acting talent.

Like the people I mentioned earlier with their credit applications many of our CEO’s seem to have in their heads a certain way they are supposed to look and a certain way they are supposed to sound. Sadly, because they are not Cate Blanchett they walk around for years on end doing a really poor impression of whatever it is that is in their heads and are then left wondering why they are ineffective in their communication strategy. They keep trying to change their communication style depending on the circumstances and, as a result lack authenticity.

There are only two kinds of people who can completely and convincingly change their communication style depending on who they are talking to. One group is the highly skilled (Cate Blanchett, World Champions of Public Speaking) and the other are sociopaths. Now if you are a sociopath I am not making any moral judgments… I just prefer to be paid up front. If you are neither of those two types of people then acting is not an option. Your only option is to be yourself. That means there is no such thing as a “customer hat” or “manager hat” or negotiator hat” and there is no role to play. It’s just you. I know much of what you say is shaped by your role but it still has to be you – that’s why people keep talking about “authentic” leadership. When it comes to communication it is just like everything else in your life – your best bet is to go with the guy who got you there. Be yourself and be real!

Seriously…get in touch

Here is an interesting fact for you. The Bible is the world’s best-selling book but it is also the world’s most shoplifted book! Sends an interesting message about Christian ethics doesn’t it? If you have something you would like to share then drop us a line and let us know. As always thanks for reading and we will see you next month – same bat time, same bat channel!